Ah London, well just like we could have all imagined, I probably wouldnít get along that well with this city. When you have to pay $2 to use a restroom or $20 to visit the primary Anglican Cathedral, it just doesnít rub me the right way. My mom and I were able to see a lot yesterday and fully embrace our role as tourists for the day. I wont bore you with describing all the sites we saw and besides you know that is not how I blog. Rather, the most compelling experience we had for the day was attending a Catholic mass in a massive cathedral that was fully done by a boys choir. It is the most beautiful mass I have ever been to. The voices were angelic in their own right. I could have stayed there forever, just to hear the peaceful voices. It made me think how beauty can draw us into the presence of the Lord and bring us closer to him. What in our lives that is beautiful brings us closer to him? Those are the things that we need to make sure we donít lose sight of, well at least I need to make sure I do more of that. The angelic voices of these children, it was one of the most compelling moments of beauty the Lord has used to draw me to Him. I wish I could go back and experience it again in a softer place of mind. But now, a longing exists where I desperately want to experience and search after Him even more. I thank the Lord for sharing and showing me His beauty through the voice of a child. I know there is much more to come.

So before leaving to Africa in a few hours I wanted to capture some of my thoughts of the place I am in before I go. The weeks leading up to the trip I was often nervous and scared. But the more I think about it, I believe I am caught in a place of contradiction surrounding expectations. The more I think about it, the more I am trying to sort it all out. I donít think I have that high of expectations for the projects or internships simply because there is so much ambiguity or not knowing of what they will end up being. This is a good thing and will leave so much room for the Lord to work and for Him to have me be open to anything, rather than me working off of a set agenda. Also, as a major in Economic Development, I think too often Christians or AID workers go to Africa feeling and believing that they have the answer and need to DO it. Rather, it is important that we go with open hearts to learn and just BE there to see and come to understand. This is where my expectations come in. I have high expectations that I will experience hope there. My prayer is now that in this sea and tidal wave of disease and disparity that is brought upon the Swazi people by AIDS, there will be seen an island of HOPE. I have this expectation that the experience I have with the orphans that God will show me the true meaning of HOPE and that I will understand it to a level that I have never seen.

I feel that I leave this will be more about the internal work that God will do within me and what he will show and teach me rather than what I can do for the people or what I might have to give. It is still about a week before we finally get to Swaziland, but I no longer feel this fear or nervousness, because I am coming to see that it is no longer in my hands, but rather, it is in the Lordís hands. It is not about me, but about the work and plans that he has ordained in His greater plan of fate.