January 18th

God is good. That is the most humble posture we can take in our walk with the Lord. To say that God is good is to acknowledge all that He has done for us in our lives and the great mercy he has shown us. God is good. Since we have been here in Swaziland it has been eye opening, more than I would have expected. It is the most rural place I have ever been. There is hardly any access to normal western commodities here. We were advised to carry spray with us in order to kill the tarantella’s and scorpions which even come into our houses. I have been sleeping up at the orphanage which they go to bed at 9 and get up at 5 to do chores and eat breakfast. But the security dogs they have bark so loud, which I am not used to and the mosquitoes are everywhere, or they just like my taste, but it is frustrating. I am still sick, but hopefully will get better soon. Although I am more out of my comfort zone than ever, feeling so far away from anything and everything I have ever known, there is this sense of peace and feeling of being home that I cant deny. Not to say that this is a permanent home or lifestyle, but rather there is a side of me that lives for and loves this adventure, this continent and these people.

To see the many orphans and how their lives are being changed and developed regardless of their surroundings, this only leads me to say God is good. To see past the ongoing death of AIDS and hunger and see how there is hope, this is because of our Lord.

I know that this experience will change me forever and I will never be the same. The kids come from the most horrendous backgrounds. Some of them were left to die and literally survived on their own and could only manage to eat frogs and weeds to survive. Others have terrible memories of their parents tying them to the bed posts and beating them. It is so amazing to see how they have been rescued though and can now have a new family and a new life.

I am glad to be here, I really mean that. It is hard, that is for sure, but I think it is meant to be. Even though I want more than anything for something to come of this that I can apply my life to for years to come, I will accept and understand if there are other reasons that God has me here. If I walk away from my time here and never come back or am in touch with the orphanage, will I be satisfied with the other areas that God is moving in my life? It suffices to say that I know God has His hand on my life and he will let no experience go unattended to. So Lord, my prayer each and every day is that you will see me as a vessel of yours, ready to serve you and your children. Use me and pour me out on the orphans, widows and poor which you love.